Race, Gender and Sexuality--Who AM I?!

When people write that there was not enough time for discussion and in fact, we had more than an hour for it, this means that the discussion was good. Indeed, this time was not enough for the FLEX Alumni to express their opinion on race, gender and homophobia issues in Georgian reality during the two-day seminar that took place in New Art Café.

We watched three films and talked about three respective issues. I choose films that are not too artsy but not too Hollywood either. All three films have very high rating on IMDB, though some were better than others.

The event was held at the New Art Café because 1. It was moderately priced 2. It did not look like a classroom. Originally I wanted to rent a small screening room in one of the movie theaters, but their prices are just unreal, and their customer service…well, you get the idea.

My favorite discussion was about racism/ ethnocentrism. Alumni touched deep issues, knowledge of the official language was brought up, immigration seemed a problem to some and nationality and national identity were examined. One of the alumni asked why do we even need a sense of nationality, which definitely charged the air with controversy.

Gender discussion was not what I expected. None of the themes of the film were touched, though one of the guest speakers just recently worked with UN on a study about violence towards women in Georgia and she could have talked about how relevant the film was to Georgian reality. In the end, girls felt frustrated, boys felt outnumbered, and we concluded that pregnant women should move away to the village and stay there for 9 months J

And finally, we did not discuss, but asked guest speaker about homophobia, which was very informative, but not too controversial. I am still wondering what happened to the voice of the audience, since the last two discussions were so heated.

The goal of the seminar was to let the audience see that there are many opinions on the matter and make them question their beliefs. I hope that at least some of the alumni (and the guest speakers and organizers) will research these topics more to come to a solid conclusion. After all, critical thinking means re-examining the established truths and arriving at one of your own!

Homo: Phobia and Sexuality or How Do We React When Two Men Kiss?

This weekend I organised (with help of a team) seminar called Critical Thinking in Social Problems in Georgia. First of all, I am generally very pleased with seminar overall. The only thing I would change—replace “The Color Purple” with something more dynamic.

The last film is my favorite and the last issue—most controversial, so I will start discussing it first.

I was surprised that we did not have any discussion. Rather, it was a Q and A session with Paata Sabelashvili. And though I am very grateful for his informative, and I would say comfortably reassuring presentation, I expected more debates. What happened?

Was it that the audience did not know much about the matter and genuinely preferred to listen? Was it that the Alumni thought it would be rude to directly oppose homosexuality, when we had a gay guest speaker? Or were we all simply tired after two days of talking?

In the end, I think that “they are born that way” argument is bullshit. If I were anti-gay, I would say, so what, some people are born with a thyroid gland dysfunction, that does not mean it shouldn’t be cured!

I believe that this argument tries to validate homosexuality and that is wrong. It is like saying, well how is it their fault if they are born that way? This case automatically tries to find a cause that justifies wrongness.

I believe that we are born with an inherit free will. I believe that we have right to love, be in a relationship, marry and have sex with whoever—unless it hurts the other person. I don’t care what the cause is, because I do not consider that homosexuality needs explanation. How would you feel if a black person tried to justify her skin color by saying that she was born that way and there is nothing she can do about it?

When I was in college in the States, some of the kids on my campus wore shirts that said “Gay? Fine with me”. I thought that was atrocious! Can you imagine shirts that say “Woman? Fine with me” or “Black? Fine with me?”?! I think justification of any kind is humiliating and that human sexuality, whatever it is, should be taken as a fact. And yes—big surprise!--men do kiss men, and after you get used to it, you might even find it sexy.

Russia As I Saw It--Posolok Gorodskogo tipa

How Soviet is Post-Soviet?

My trip to Russia was fun overall and I certainly don't have enough time to write about it now--my tea is getting cold and I have a seminar to conduct in two days--but I wanted to share this picture of the local school located in a little town/village, or, as I was told in a " Posolok gorodskogo tipa".

Sex Education

I watched a stupid talk show on the 1st channel called "Auditoria" and got so mad! The theme was sex education and bunch of "sexologists", politicians and random famous people (a.k.a faces) discussed whether or not we should have one in the Georgian schools.

First of all, why those people? Some of them know less about the subject than even I do.

Secondly, the host sucks. She can't carry on a decent conversation.

However, that is not the worst part. The "sexperts" were the worse.

Instead of arguing about how good it is for a teenager to know what a condom is (you know, just in case one gets pregnant or unimportant stuff like that), those "sexologists" started talking about the role of media in a formation of a teenager's view of sex. They were like oh well, this TV is so horrible and gives bad messages and thus we have to step in and teach the poor kids correctly. And if we don't step in, they will continue watching TV and consequently, will start practicing deviant sexual activities like (and I am quoting now) HOMOSEXUALITY AND LESBIANISM. First of all, lesbians are homosexuals, you moron! Secondly, these are the sexologist who claim that they have the right knowledge to educate the kids at school. If those are our experts, what about non-experts?! Can you even imagine what goes on in their heads?

For example, the guest politician started endless propaganda about abstinence being the best policy. He was like, if kids don't have sex, they won't get STD s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). No shit, Sherlock! Do you have any frontal lobe functions or is problem analysis an evolutionary stage yet unknown to your brain? Of course, if kids won't have sex, they won't get STD s. The problem is that they do have sex and you know why? It's called hormones and it's called horny teenagers. And that is true for every nation, Georgian being no exception. And please, with all the bullshit that man was giving us, he was like, my eight-year-old daughter is already fasting and I am trying to teach her abstinence in food and we are such a good Christian Orthodox family and I have six (!) kids and I am teaching them to be abstinent. If that worked, we would not have so many teen pregnancies today. Oh, and he also added that he married his wife when she was FIFTEEN and he was twenty-three. Do you know that having sex with minor is considered rape in many countries? And don't give me the-culture-is-diffrent crap, a fifteen-year -old's personality changeds 1000 times before she reaches, say, twenty, so she can absolutely hate the man she loved 5 years ago. Also, I feel sorry for that woman, she missed out on many teenage expereinces and probbaly won't ever catch up because 1. her husband's a moron 2. she has 6 kids already

Then the audience shared how they did not want to have sex ed in school because they can get info from someone else. That is exactly my argument for having sex ed. Who is that someone else and how much is she/he credible? If I were to post all of the stupid things people told me about sex, orgasm, vagina, penis, breasts, menstrual cycles, hygiene and such, my post would be two kilometers long!

I don't necessarily agree that there should be a separate sex ed class here, as it is in states. I don't think that it is suitable for the Georgian culture. But why can't we incorporate it in, say, biology classes or have an after-school discussion groups?

Kids need to know personal hygiene. They need to know where to buy a condom and how to use it. They need to know that it is far more embarrassing to get a girl pregnant than to buy a pack of condoms at the pharmacy. Girl need to know that there is medicine for the menstrual cramps and that there is absolutely no need to get paralyzed with pain for 5 days of a month ( if you guys only knew, how many girls I've seen in painful agony, refusing to take meds!)

So I am all for it. But God save us from the "sexperts", "politicians" and "talk show hosts" of this country. If they will get a say in this--then poor teens will all become impotent as a result of such trauma!

Cellulites

Hey, I am covered in honey again, hoping that after two weeks of this torture my skin will be smooth and pleasant to see. I want to battle my cellulites now, before it gets out of hand.

It's not that I can't walk around wrapped in a gooey mess of honey, vinegar and stuff for two hours, I can. But the massage that precedes the wrapping is so painful that most of the time I want to scream and I can barely hold my tears. The only reason stopping me is that I am embarrassed to cry before a Eka, my masseuse (a person that does massage). So, we try to talk instead (meaning she talks and I try to communicate, not sounding like I am about to pass out). Usually about my work.

Eka is a school teacher and ironically, I check teachers work and determine whether or not they will pass the exams and stay in schools. Thus, I get my money for evaluating teachers (often failing them) so that I can pass this money along to Eka--a teacher.

I want to tell all of Georgia: beware! Our teachers don't know a squat about teaching and the ones who do, are so underpaid, that they have to-just like my Eka--get additional source of money. I can't tell you what they write in these exams, but I can tell you that if we don't do anything, our children won't be able to spell their names.

So, now what? We try to eliminate the ones that are totally hopeless. Because we have to. However, is it really their fault they are so awful? I mean they have studied somewhere and they did get a diploma. they did get hired and they are still teaching and are not fired (yet). Thus, is it only their fault?Are they the only ones to blame?

No one knows what causes cellulites. Some say unhealthy eating habits, some say low blood circulation, some say it is genetic and that I was born with a fat ass. However, we (the girls whose butts look like orange's skin) all know what it is and we all know it ain't pretty. Hence, we hire masseuses who beat the hell out of us, pour honey, vinegar, essential oil and other shit on our thighs, wrap us in plastic bags, make us wear warm clothes in summer and little by little dissolve the fatty tissues on our behinds. It is unpleasant, but necessary. Similarly, I don't know why Georgian school teachers are the way they are. All I know is that they can't keep doing what they are doing and that people like me need to slap them and beat them out of the system. Otherwise, the educational system will never be smooth. And though I am covered in bruises right now, I have a dream and hope and a noble goal: a glossy butt. So, God help us remove the fatty blobs from our schools!

a damsel in distress

Did you know how much it hurts to have honey spread over your butt and legs and then get smacked and hit and then get wrapped in plastic and then walk around it warm leggings and plastic underneath (in August!)? add khena (mud girls put on their hair to make it shiny and reddish) on my hair and plastic bag on my head and you'll realize why I want to be a man--or even my cat--for a day.

This is how I look right now.Plus honey... this post gets spiteful. You've been warned.

Life is full of stupid questions, starting with the stupidest of them all--who am I. We naively hope to find some answers, smarter than 42 (don't know what I am talking about?Dude you need to catch up on your sci. fi. reading!). And though we all have limitless questions, I'd like to list some that I have (becoz I can) and thus, start my first complaining post:

1. why was my apartment building built without an elevator, making it hard to bring groceries to the last floor (where I live)?

2. why can't I find job worthy of my education and offering decent salary+decent co-workers?

3. why do I have to ask my friend's sister to bring me an ipod form states because things are so ridiculously expensive in this goddamn city?

4. why is the rainiest place in Georgia also the place where you want to spread out in front of the sun for at least 6 hours a day? why do we take swimming suites to Batumi if we end up wearing sweaters?

5. why can't dishes wash themselves? or better yet, who in their right mind builds such tiny kitchens, that you can't fit a dishwasher in it, even if you had the ridiculous amount of money they charge for it in our electronics store?

6. why to people in marshrutkas smell?

7. why do I need to visit Georgian gay sites to read advices on oral sex? How long can the straight population of Tbilisi stay so closeted?

8. and finally,

if your day is divided into four parts,

and you hate three of them,

you have no choice but to ask:

why do I have to be woman? Can I be a man for change?

the four parts of my daily life: 1. work 2. cellulites massage 3. housework and dinner 4. husband

(this is the part I like).

p.s. the last part just came home and I have to go.

the very first post

Make no mistake about it, this blog is a mental masturbation. A place to complain and whine and satisfy oneself. A place to write and feel good about yourself. To feel fulfillment. Accomplishment. Like what you do (write) matters.

Maybe a few lost souls will wander in and leave their spiteful comments, along the way. Please do. No censorship of any kind allowed on my territory.

I apologize for all the negativity I might pour in here. In real life, I am quite a happy person. But again, mental masturbation is not a public matter. It’s what one does in private behind the lock doors and closed curtains.

How do I even do this thing? I am a person with no facebook account and obsession for correct spelling. Not a typical blogger.

How the hell do I get a tag cloud? Can I get Sex and the City banner instead of these books on the background? How long is a readable post? will my husband feel offended when I write about us? Hello…is anybody listening?

And most important, how do I make people read this? I need some voyeurs!