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Friday, July 30, 2010


Hey, I am covered in honey again, hoping that after two weeks of this torture my skin will be smooth and pleasant to see. I want to battle my cellulites now, before it gets out of hand.
It's not that I can't walk around wrapped in a gooey mess of honey, vinegar and stuff for two hours, I can. But the massage that precedes the wrapping is so painful that most of the time I want to scream and I can barely hold my tears. The only reason stopping me is that I am embarrassed to cry before a Eka, my masseuse (a person that does massage). So, we try to talk instead (meaning she talks and I try to communicate, not sounding like I am about to pass out). Usually about my work.
Eka is a school teacher and ironically, I check teachers work and determine whether or not they will pass the exams and stay in schools. Thus, I get my money for evaluating teachers (often failing them) so that I can pass this money along to Eka--a teacher.
I want to tell all of Georgia: beware! Our teachers don't know a squat about teaching and the ones who do, are so underpaid, that they have to-just like my Eka--get additional source of money. I can't tell you what they write in these exams, but I can tell you that if we don't do anything, our children won't be able to spell their names.
So, now what? We try to eliminate the ones that are totally hopeless. Because we have to. However, is it really their fault they are so awful? I mean they have studied somewhere and they did get a diploma. they did get hired and they are still teaching and are not fired (yet). Thus, is it only their fault?Are they the only ones to blame?
No one knows what causes cellulites. Some say unhealthy eating habits, some say low blood circulation, some say it is genetic and that I was born with a fat ass. However, we (the girls whose butts look like orange's skin) all know what it is and we all know it ain't pretty. Hence, we hire masseuses who beat the hell out of us, pour honey, vinegar, essential oil and other shit on our thighs, wrap us in plastic bags, make us wear warm clothes in summer and little by little dissolve the fatty tissues on our behinds. It is unpleasant, but necessary. Similarly, I don't know why Georgian school teachers are the way they are. All I know is that they can't keep doing what they are doing and that people like me need to slap them and beat them out of the system. Otherwise, the educational system will never be smooth. And though I am covered in bruises right now, I have a dream and hope and a noble goal: a glossy butt. So, God help us remove the fatty blobs from our schools!

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