How many Georgians does it take to change a light bulb?
Legion is thy name.
Here is the chronicle of how we were getting an air cooler…
First, we had to decide that we truly need it. Then, the
management had to decide that we truly need it. Then, logically, the logistics
co-worker had to figure out where to buy it, how to buy it, invoices, prices.
And then, at last, at that blessed day of the last Monday, the air conditioner
arrived.
We rejoiced and danced tribal dances around it. Our happiness was
short-lived. Alas, nothing last forever, even fondest moments of life. Some
part of the goddamned air cooler was in conflict with another part, peace
between them—unattainable and that’s how the conditioner guys left us.
They promised to bring us the missing soul mate part on
Tuesday. They promised to bring us the part on Wednesday. They promised to
fucking bring us the part on Thursday. By Friday, we evaporated; our aimless,
overheated bodies floated over the desks and computers and the sweat dripped so
much that it later condensed to a huge cloud and rained on the whole city.
They promised to come on Saturday. They promised to come on
Sunday.
My co-worker called them on Monday. And they…promised to
come on Monday.
I called the service center on Tuesday. They said the part
was in the warehouse. I called the warehouse. They promised to bring the part
that day. Having heard that, I started having convulsions and foam dripped from
my mouth. Stuttering, I asked them to be honest and name the day of the week they may actually show
up. I told them that this was an office and that we leave at 6.
Afterwards, I stayed late in the office. That almost never
happens. At 8:00 P.M., I heard a knock on the door. The conditioner guy brought
the part. Our logistics person rushed in soon and looked surprised at me. I was
in the office, alone, with a conditioner guy. Cue porn music.
Apparently, all 12 people that he has been calling about the
conditioner called him to inform him that THE MISSING PART was in the office.
So he rushed to it. Anyway, they brought up THE PART and they left. And they
promised to send guys that would put the cooler up, well, you guessed it, next
day. According to some secret air conditioning code, the guy that brings THE
PART cannot be the guy that hooks it up.
The morning in the office started as usual today. After
watering the plants and making coffee, I habitually called THE SERVICE CENTER.
Be warned that no one answers till noon. At noon I told the girl that if we
don’t feel the cool breeze on our cracked, dried-up skins by 4, I will call
again. At 3:30, nothing indicated that they would, you know, come. So, I called
again. No one at THE SERVICE CENTER could understand why was I so mad. They
said they would come. What else could they do? Except maybe repeat it one more
time.
The conditioner silently lay on the floor, all of its parts
intact. I gave up fruitless attempts to work in a drenched T-shirt and started
typing this post. And then…oh my god, I can’t type it straight…my emotions are
taking over…and then…they came….they came…they actually came!!!
Now, a week and two days after its purchase, just a week
before we leave for a month-long vacation, these guys are trying to put it up
on the wall and I am afraid, god, I am afraid that some part won’t work again
and that they will leave, leave me forever.
The company’s name Vestel, by the way.
P.S. the pic: the miracle conditioner
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