My Blog List

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Condom Dilemma

Last week my whole office was discussing a video of politicians talking about what categories of condoms can youth use and which ones should they outlaw. See, our country has no other problems besides deciding whether the nature of a condom is offensive. That matters so much!
They want to outlaw “items that are of sexual nature” (or something like that) and are trying to come up with a comprehensive list. Thus, today the honorary members of parliament discussed the following life-and-death matter (verbatim transcript):
-          I’d like to say, regarding condom, I understand that it is a serious topic, it all depends on a condom, some might have not a precautionary, but a pleasure-giving function…
-          Yes, I also wanted to say that…
-          Some condoms are complicated, with certain technical aids. We do not mean to ban fictional literature, or magazines and newspapers of a general profile, for example, we can’t ban Zaza Burchuladze using this law (average modern writer, has lots of sex in his books – pasumonok).
-          Yes, there are some condoms that have a function of giving sexual pleasure. Those will not be for sale.
So this is what it comes down to: are condoms used for sexual pleasure or just for safety reasons? What about condoms that have small “special effects”, like ripples on the surface but in general look like other condoms? What if one gets sexual pleasure from an average, no-nonsense condom (it is smooth and less messy)? Should we outlaw it too? Finally, why the hell should our honorary members of the freakin parliament discuss our youth’s  sexual pleasure at all? Why is it their business?
I have other questions as well. What if one buys items of sexual pleasure online? Will one get fined? What if someone decides to take a case to court to determine whether an item is of a necessity or sexual pleasure? How will they determine this important matter? Will they ask the witness: did you use this particular condom for sexual pleasure or only for protection? Did you feel pleasure? Was it due to the condom or due to your partner?
Why? Why is this even a matter of discussion?! Damn it, what if I am under 18 and I want to own a condom that glows in the dark? Or if I need a vibrator? Or an S and M outfit?
Secondly, tell me dear politicians, can’t you see other problems that youth under 18 have? Because if you don’t, I can remind you: gambling and gambling-connected suicides and crime, cigarettes available to minors, violent video games and absurd education system, looser and unknowledgeable teachers, absence of support groups and rehabilitation centers! Those are the problems, not the pleasure origins of a condom! It’s just a condom for fuck’s sake! A condom! Get over it! Take care of the problems caused by no regular sexual education! Give out condoms for free! Encourage youths to use them! Go to a sex shop, buy yourself a super-rippled, banana-flavored, glow-in-the-dark condom, go be sexually happy at your house and maybe you will leave others’ sexual preferences the hell alone!!!!!
p.s.the pic: arbitrary object of sexual pleasure I found in a grocery store in Netherlands. Outlaw the big carrots!


  1. great piece, but are you sure the sale of condoms (with sexual pleasure features?) is only re youth? I was under the impression that this was a countrywide ban on 'sexual' items sold near schools etc? Which would also restrict your access to it. (I mean, there's loads of school in Tbilisi! What would the range be?)

  2. it was for people under 18, thus not selling any things by kindergartens and schools. it also includes not selling those items in drug stores and medical places. thus excluding most of us.becoz where can i find a store that is away from all the schools and all the kindergartens if i want to buy say, a glowing codom?