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Monday, November 8, 2010


This post is an answer to the recent “Asaval-Dasavali” article which claimed that TLG teacher Thomas Fletcher came to Georgia solely to teach Georgian children how to put dildoes in their mouths.

As I have recently learned from a very respectable newspaper, “Asaval-Dasavali”, the sole reason of foreign English teachers in Georgia is to draft our children in sects and teach them “lessons in homosexuality”[1]. Furthermore, the article said that after a while children will start holding “phalloimitators” (meaning dildoes) instead of pens and pencils in their tiny hands![2]

So, Georgians, wake up! The article is predicting future! We are not included in this new kind of knowledge! “The aim of this government is evolution of new kind of generation”[3], the one that knows how to use phalloimitators! Do you know how to utilize them? That’s awful! Neither do I!

I look in my crystal ball and I see Georgia in 20 years. A potential employee comes to a job interview. Instead of asking whether he knows English and Computer (Duh, everybody knows that shit now!), an employer asks him if he knows how to use a phalloimitator!

I see another picture. My boss approaches my office slowly, with an evil grin on his face. “Pasumonok”, he says, “Do you know how to operate an average phalloimitator and what is your experience in sects and homosexuality?” Desperately, I try to mumble something in my defense: “I’ve been to a gay Georgian’s birthday party once!”, but my boss does not buy it. Fired, I gather my things, stumble outside and jump into the Mtkvari River.

Alas, I’ve never had a phalloimitator and I am out of school, so TLGs won’t teach me “lessons in homosexuality”! Does this mean that I won’t be able to blend in with the “generation with no values or morals”[4] of tomorrow?

I propose we invade LGBT fond “Inclusive” and steal their phalloimitators! Because it is an established fact that gay people have those things laying all over their homes and offices. Even their dogs have one!

I propose we hire private tutors in homosexuality and phalloimitatorism, just like we hire tutors for every subject we study in school! The degradation of Georgian nation has already started and only the people who are smart enough to get the necessary skills and abilities will survive in this battle of the fittest!

I propose we start learning now, before it is too late, and indeed, it might be too late, just look at all the TV shows and newspaper articles of the previous week, full of one word and one word only: “THE PHALLOIMITATOR”!

[1] Should He Teach Georgian To Our Children?

[2] All of the references are from the same article

[3] All of the references are from the same article

[4] All of the references are from the same article


  1. Just wanted to say I'm an American girl living part-time in Tbilisi (I'm a writer - I spend the other half of the year doing a degree course in Oxford, England) and I really enjoy your blog! There's loads of blogs from expats out there, but I prefer to read a Georgian perspective!

  2. I don't understand how is it normal for a teacher to put pictures of himself naked and let his students see it!

  3. @ ohmypersephone,
    that's so sweet, it really gave me a confidence boost!
    i hope that kids that don't know georgian situation (stacie...) understand that i'm joking :-)

  4. by the way,this is a rare post that does not have a pic coz most of the pics here were taken by me (including the header, it is an auto portrait) and i really couldn't find a dildo to capture! it is my mission not to steal pics from the net.

  5. @pasumonok. Are you on facebook? If so, feel free to add me here: I'm back in Tbilisi in December - always looking to hang out with new people, especially Georgians (to practice the language, among other things!) so do let me know if you want to get a coffee or something...

  6. Anonymous: it is not ok to have naked pictures accessible to one's students, but what does homosexuality have to do with all this?