An Epic Beating

Our political life continues to amuse us. Just when we thought that life got boring, townsfolk found some dusty forks and damp torches, marched to the national library and beat the crap out of our city Mayor.  Yes, that’s right, this Friday, sane citizens of our fine city physically stomped all over the Mayor.

Not that I like the Mayor. I've been saying that he’s an ass for a long time. Few people doubt that he’s an ass. It is a common knowledge that he's an ass.

But Holy Mother Georgia, does that mean that we should rush and beat up the asses among us (that came out wrong, didn’t it?).

Let’s recap the beating-up event. Saakashvili and friends were to give a speech at the library. Crowd of newly-freed prisoners gathered by the library. They hate Saakashvili for placing them in the prison. They love the new government for taking them out of prison. And as their hate stores up and as their anger erects, Ugulava the Mayor and other similar asses scattered among the masses yell and scream at each other. The ex-prisoners and now proud freemen of the great city Tbilisi grab his majesty the Mayor and shower him with “love”.

If this was a movie about repressed classes bravely revolting against the usurping ruling class, I would be moved to tears. The movie had to be set in the beginning of 20s. Maybe even earlier than that. Maybe it could be of the French revolution time. Then, we would all cheer for the crowd.

We could even make a balck and white film out of it. The sailors find maggots in the meat! Down with the ship’s captain! Let’s push the stroller down the stairs in Odessa park!

However, dear friends, the times of Patomkin have passed. We live in the time of national and international courts, contracts and agreements, I don’t know, civil society, rules, laws and regulations, we live in the time when people pretend to be respectful towards each other.  People pretend not hate each other to the point where inner instincts take over and they physically beat other people. We have passed the time of yelling and stoning and fire-burning at a stake. Alas, not here, not yet!

My salary is late and I am broke. My wounds are healing and they itch. I don’t get enough sleep ever. Maybe, some other time I would've written how uncivilized and horrible it is to actually physically beat the Mayor, no matter how much of an ass he is. But right now, I feel cynical. Beat along, my dear citizens, beat away. Whatever works for you.

And that’s what happens when asses like those harassed politicians don’t legalize peace-inducing substances.

“Everybody needs to get stoned”, sang the great philosopher Bob Dylan.