My Vice: Reality of the Reality Shows

We are behind in many things, but one of them is of imperative importance: we could never have Real Housewives of Tbilisi! For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about, it is one of those shows that nobody admits watching. There are multiple franchises of this reality show, including real housewives of Orange County, Beverly Hills, New Jersey, New York, Atlanta and Miami. They feature a bunch of rich, usually mindless women, spending lots of money and quarelling with each other. It makes me endlessly happy to watch them fight; every time I want to buy something ridiculous and I can’t, it gives me comfort, knowing that they can buy everything they want, but they are still stupid. Plus, they all look like aliens, with fake boobs and botoxed foreheads.

One could ask why couldn’t we film Real Housewives of Tbilisi, is it because Tbilisi doesn’t have its own collection of dumb, rich ladies? No, my friends, but I can’t imagine some businessman allowing his wife to flaunt her spending habits like that. That would guarantee Big Brother inspecting your accounts.

Reality shows feed my soul. They provide everything I need. Real Housewives make me feel good about myself; my recent addiction, 11 seasons of The Apprentice, inspires me. Oh, to watch a hair-challenged Donald Trump, giving contestants business tasks and firing loosers... Last night, I caught myself thinking: if they can pull this off, surely I can pesture my boss for that signature! I will not give up, Mr. Trump, please don’t fire me! I have so much strength and dedication!

We had something like that here, but it turned out to be lame. Cause really, nothing trumps Trump (sorry I had to make this joke).

Reality shows educate me. For 5 years now, I’ve been devouring every season of Heide Klum’s “Project Runway”. Jokes aside, it is really a good show. 12 desingners make interesting outfits and tasks are usually exiting and challenging. I've seen people design cocktail dresses from candy wraps, I’ve seen avangarde fashion and drag queen costumes, I now know that Michael Cors, the guest judge, likes to look like an orange…he tans a lot. The final three contestants show their collections on NY fashion week.

Why couldn't we have this show here? Maybe because Lali Totikashvili (who is a sweet lady) is not Haide Klum. Because neither Georgian, nor Tbilisi Fashion week is the NY fashion week. Because we wouldn’t have enough aspiring designers for more than one season. And because Avto Tskvitinidze, no matter his success, is not as orange as Michael Cors.

My fav. Reality show, Top Chef, introduced me to food I would never try before. I know what Foie gras looks (and spells) like. I know that ceviche is fish that gets cooked in acid, with no heat needed. This show inspires me to make risotto the right way. Also... it makes me very hungry.

We wouldn’t have Top Chef in Georgia…well, because we don’t have chefs here. I can’t imagine Khinkali-themed Top Chef.

So basically, we suck. Cause all we can do is sing and dance and all of our reality shows are about that. And it gets repetitive!

P.S. I am breaking tradition of posting only the pics that I (and hubby) take to share this beautiful man with the humanity... this is Curtis Stone, a celebrity chef. Has been on The Celebrity Apprentice and hosts Top Chef Masters. He is all I love about reality show contestant--has some skill, is hot, is confident, and I don't normally like him. Really, I hate smug blond guys with blues eyes and gel-spiked hair. But there is something about this one...