Windows, Projects and Desperate Hope

I’d like to write of hope and future and all that is precious and all that is light. I’d like to write about these things accumulating, these things I need to do but never have time to do. These ongoing projects.
For example, the windows project. I’ve been taking pics of windows for around 4 years now. Windows are peculiar, they help us look outside, but they also allow the outside look at us…it’s like a passage from our safe refuge to the world out there. What can be more interesting than walking around, looking into somebody’s windows, sort of like a stalker, but really, all I want is to get a glimpse of others’ stories, that’s all.
When I was little, I was fascinated with the apartments I could see from the street, imagining what it would be like to live in them. For many nights, I stayed up, staring at windows in the opposite house, the ones that had lights on, until they would fade out, one by one.
Anyway, now I have this massive amount of the window pics, waiting to be sorted; some of them are on film, they need to be scanned and god knows where the rest of them are stored…windows in mountains, in Tbilisi, in NY and in Hague…and I solemnly swear that I will produce one wonderful album of these fucking windows and torture people into seeing them.
Let’s see, the other project is to finish building a bar in our house, so that my hubby can put all of his earthly possessions (different kinds of alcohol) in one place and marvel at them. That project has already started so congrats to us, we are actually working on something.
Another project is to watch all the films that I’ve underlined in this pretty comprehensive book on film history. I want to take my amateur film knowledge a little further and actually see obscure thing like Birth of a Nation. I am tempted to skip first 30 years of film, but damn it, I will go through the silent film era, no matter how much I want to just conquer the 70s.
The ever ongoing child project was paused due to the trip to Netherlands (I have to be sure that my future fetus has healthy environment, aka my blood is not poisoned), and of course I will spare you the details, but it’s constantly on my mind.
Finally, when we got married, hubby and I decided to print out two separate lists of countries we want to visit and put it on our fridge--when we’d have a fridge. We could then look at these countries as an inspiration. Hubby did acquire this weird-colored goldenish fridge, but for several years now, we have not pinned a freakin list to it. This week, I swear, this week, the fridge will have its due list.
So, from windows to countries, I have heady things to do, and I just don’t do them and then I lament about how boring my life is.
And you too, shake yourself up, go out, dance, sing, write something, do something!!!Right now, get up and do something, so there can be at least two of us pushing the boundaries of our mundane existence!
P.S. Mysterious window in Netherlands, at dusk.

Case of Mondays or Existential Thoughts Before Birthday

“I know it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do, get jobs in offices and wake-up for the morning commute?”, Ironically I usually listen to this song, MGMT’s Time to Pretend in marshurtka, on my way to work.
I asked my hubby yesterday, why was it that some people didn’t have to live this way? I had this song in mind. Being an awesome hubby he is, he guessed exactly what I meant and answered: “yes, but they die young”. Funny, the same song contains lyrics: “this is our decision to live fast and die young”, though hubby didn’t know it. Sometimes, the world communicates with us in a weird way.
This is an outline of my week: Monday –I am energetic and recharged after the weekend. The first half of the day I do more than I do in next two days combined. Tuesday—least favorite day of the week. Weekend energy wore off, I am stuck doing stupid things. Bored and tired, can’t wait to go to bed. Wednesday--it gets better, only two days left till the weekend. Stay up late watching shit on my comp. Thursday—I just have to live through today and tomorrow, today and tomorrow, today and tomorrow. Friday—if I work a lot, the day will end sooner. If I party on Friday evening, weekend gets longer. Saturday—I wake up at 1 P.M. stay in bed till 2. I can kill anyone who gets between me and my sleep. I feel like myself, doesn’t matter what I do, host guests, go out, spend all day in bed watching movies, clean the house, see my family, this is me, I identify with myself. Sunday—trying to do everything I’ve planned during the week but never got to do. Spend some time on FB, see what people are up to. After 6 I begin to feel depressed, I know that my freedom ends soon. I start little auto training… it’s going to be O.K., it’s going to be fine, I will live through it. I have case of Mondays on Sunday evening. Then I fight with sleep as long as I can, I go to sleep at 2, 3, maybe even 4, because if I fall asleep, the weekend is over.
This is how I live my life, day after day, I lose track of time, I feel like we had New Year just now, I can hardly believe that a whole month has passed and that it is my birthday already. I told hubby, ”do you understand that we spend 5 days out of 7 looking forward to the weekend?” He sighted. And he has a lot better job than I do.
The world does have funny way of communicating. I opened my friend’s blog today and he wrote about his existential crises too. My other friend commented on it, sharing her pain. Are we all drifting in this town, unhappy?
Often, I ask myself, did I gain more than I’ve lost at my job? Is it worth it?
It is; this extra income helps us be happy. We can afford New Year trips to Europe. We can change windows in our houses. We can install bar in our apartment. I swear, the one week I spent in Turkey last summer and in Europe this winter was worth all the frustration. For two weeks, we got to live fast without dying young.
So here I am, losing my college knowledge and enduring through mandatory bad years, in order to advance in my career. It is Thursday, just three hours left today and a whole day tomorrow, but when it’s over, god, when it’s over, I will have so much fun, cause this Saturday, I am having a spa day + posh nigh with my girlfriends and this Sunday, I am gathering my family. Cause it’s my birthday.
P.S. post written last Thursday. I had a wonderful weekend after this post. Here’s my Birthday Awards acceptance speech: thanx to my family for lovely chat over khinkali, thanx to my closest girls for being tolerant to each other’s cellulites-covered, not-yet-ready-for-the-summer bodies (we celebrated my aging in Turkish baths), and finally, the most important actor, the hubby, you made these two days beautiful, thanx 4 walking on thin ice with me (we literally walked on frozen Lisi Lake that weekend).
Oh, and there were 4 fb pages of b.d. wishes from digital friends. U guys are cool!
P.S.S. the pic: and yes, I am that old now.

USA2Georgia

I am in a happy place so I write about happy things. Last week it was Sherlock. This week, it is shipment.
Some things are impossible to get here: they are unavailable or too expensive. Online shopping should be a solution. However, since the Georgian post service is apparently our version of a Soviet Occupation Museum—it reminds us how it used to be in the soviet time (offices, employees, service, months of shipment, parcel delivery time), since mailing things via UPS and FedEx is very expensive, finally, since you are never sure that you will actually receive what you’ve ordered (“they” have lost my shipment twice), we refrain from shopping online.
When I travelled to U.S. often, I used to bring a lot of stuff from the states. Shoes, clothing, make-up, books, even pans and Ziplocs (we didn’t have them back then). But many of those things are getting old and have to be replaced. Plus, new items that we need, for example, electronic devices (camera, Nook, media player) are considerably more expensive here.
For a while now, I’ve been shopping online. Every time I come to pick up my order, I promise to write about the experience. I have stumbled upon one of the rare cases when Georgian business actually works: the whole process from shipment to pick up is perfect, web-site is easy to manage, payment—reasonable and staff--quick.
I am of course, talking about USA2Georgia. If you have never used it, then you are way behind the rest of civilized Tbilisians 
This is how it works: you register at USA2Georgia.com; the website is user-friendly; it has all the info, discussion forums and other useful things. After registration, you are assigned a room number. You then go online and shop for something fabulous. For the shipping address you write the USA address given to you by the USA2Georgia. Your item gets shipped there. Once it arrives, you get an E-mail and a message on your account. You are notified about the arrival and asked to declare it for the customs purposes. You choose the category of your item (like clothing, electronics, etc.), write how much it costs and choose to have it sent: 1. in original box (larger, heavier and costs more) 2. repackaged (if your item is not fragile, you should totally do that); after around a week, you get an E-mail and a message that your shipment is here. You take your ID with you, go to Kavatardze 27, pay the amount of shipment through an electronic paybox (you will need to know your room number to do that), stand in a queue like a normal person, sign a receipt, and receive your item. You then proceed into tearing the wrapping off and putting on new shoes right there…sorry, I got carried away.
It is a bit complicated the first time you do it, but after doing it several times, you get used to the system. It does not change and makes sense.
I wonder how long they will keep the excellent service. Too often businesses in Georgia start very well and then fail to maintain costumers. Let’s hope this is a lucky exception!
P.S. They should probably give me a gift card for advertising their business 
P.P.S. What hubby and I usually order online…